For all of you following our quick and speedy expansion of our family--the 12 day long chaotic scramble of paperwork, travel plans and the roller coaster of emotions--finally ended today when we were able to bring home (well, back to our hotel anyway) Xavier Charles Drella.
To give some of you a re-cap, we received a call on Thursday, Oct. 9th, from the Adoption Agency we used for both Lily and Brody, Adoption Angels. They were calling because Lakeisha, Brody's birthmother, had decided that she could no longer care for her 2 year old son, Xavier, and was hoping that we would adopt him. Well, I was home w/ both Brody and Lily, who that day had strep throat--and for one nano second, I thought are you crazy?? But then, the next nano second, I thought wow, this could be so cool, but I better check it out w/ Dan. I called Dan on his cell phone, and he was in a meeting, and told him about the phone call. He didn't hesitate at all and said, Why not?? So I called the agency back and they were shocked that it didn't even take us 10 minutes to make a decision that would effect so many lives. But really, how could we say no? We had talked at maybe some point in time becoming a foster family and maybe adopting, but that would be a few years from now--but God always wants to remind us that he is in control and throws us for a loop!! :-) So that was 12 days ago--it seems like forever ago!!
We arrived in Texas last night and called the Adoption Agency this morning--they said that Lakeisha had to take Xavier for his shots and physical and then we would meet after that. Dan and I thought about it and called them back and offered to take them to the doctor. We went to Lakeisha's new apartment and picked up her and Xavier. She has only been in her apartment a few weeks and it seems like it is in a nice neighborhood. She gave us Xavier's things--only a few clothing items along w/ some Matchbox cars, some sippy cups, some food and a stuffed dinosaur. She said that when they left the other apartment, they had to leave everything there--not sure why, and we didn't ask. So needless to say, we spent the evening shopping at Target--and almost $250 later, I think he will be set for awhile. I also know that I have lots of clothes and jackets at home that will fit him, but I am getting ahead of myself.
We went to the doctor w/ them and found out that he hadn't gotten any shots for over a year and he was due 6 of them--I asked what would happen if we refused them and they said nothing, so we only got 3 of them and will wait to get the others when we get back to Green Bay. I am sure there are many wonderful doctor offices in Texas, but this one was a little strange. It was a pediatric office, but they didn't have any toys or even any books--not even the free parenting magazines. Xavier was a trooper, he was so good and we had to wait a long time b/c they didn't have all of the paperwork required, so there were many phone calls exchanged w/ the agency and Xavier's normal doctors office. His normal office didn't have any openings until Nov. 4th, so I think the Adoption Agency found this one for us. All the time sitting around today, gave us a lot of time to talk to Lakeisha and spend time with Xavier. It was very comfortable. I was kind of dreading that--not knowing how it would go and all, but it was nice. I am very glad we were able to spend a couple of hours with them together. Xavier is a very sweet kid. Very laid back--similar to Brody. Full of smiles!!
After the dr. appointment we went to the Adoption Agency where Dan & I had to go into a different room and do paperwork--yes, more and more paperwork. It seems like it is never ending. We went thru it all and it seemed that all we were missing was our cat, Jack's, rabies vacine certificate, so we called the vet and they faxed that over.
The birth father still hasn't signed off on the paperwork so this is still an at risk adoption. But Dan and I really felt we didn't want to put Xavier in the foster system waiting for his birth father's rights to be terminated. The lawyer from the adoption agency has been to see him once, if not twice, and is hoping to get him to sign voluntarily, but did serve him the papers to terminate his rights as well. If he doesn't sign the papers voluntarily, he will still lose his rights in 21 days because he is in jail for longer than 2 years. If he really wants to be a jerk about it, he could appeal the termination decision--but as Lakeisha told us, there really isn't anyone in his family to take Xavier. But I am sure this may be a last attempt of his to get back at Lakeisha or just assert some feeling of control over a situation. But we are going to try not to worry about all that.
While Dan and I were doing our paperwork, Lakeisha signed hers as well. I know it was so hard on her, and even though this is our 3rd adoption it doesn't get any easier. You just never realize about the guilt you will feel when taking another person's child--even if it is for a good reason. Lakeisha left without saying good-bye to us, but did say good-bye to Xavier. She said it was too hard to talk to us at that time and that is completely understandable. We may see her again before we leave Texas.
After we completed our paperwork, Xavier had a developmental assessment. It was interesting watching the therapist working with him. She said he does have some developmental delays. He has something called echo??? Neither Dan or I remember the name--help me out Jill!! But what he does is he repeats everything you say--kind of like he doesn't have his own thoughts. For example, I will say, Xavier do you want an apple? And he will mumble something similar to what I said, but say the word apple clearly. He doesn't seem to know animal sounds or even simple things. But when he does repeat things--he does say them very clearly and makes great eye contact, so the specialist wasn't real concerned and gave us lots of things to do to help w/ the situation. But we are thinking there wasn't a lot of working on those type of things. In many ways, Brody at one, is more advanced. I am sure being around Brody and Lily is going to help his development as well.
After the assessment was done, we took him back to the hotel--it was after 5pm. For a kid who didn't take a nap, got 3 shots, didn't have his diaper changed and didn't eat anything since before 1pm--he was doing fantastic. We did stop at McDonalds and got him a nugget happy meal with some apple dippers, which I don't think he had before b/c he gave me the strangest look as he was eating them. But we got back to the hotel and he had to look around at everything and try on both Dan's and my shoes. Then after hanging out here for a bit, we went to Target and he crashed on the way back and is asleep on our bed. We got a blow up mattress for him, so he can sleep next to us--but we have to charge up the pump so he won't have that until tomorrow.
Being Silly and Eating those apple dippers.
So everything is probably going better than I expected. He is a wonderful child. I can't wait to see all of our kids together. I know Dan and I keep commenting on how much we miss Lily and Brody. I just want to reach thru that telephone line and give them
a million kisses, but telephone calls will have to do for now. We are hoping to leave next Monday--and maybe, if everyone says lots of prayers, everything will go thru super fast and we would get the go ahead to leave on Friday--so we could come back on the weekend, but for now, we are just hoping to be able to leave on Monday.
Thank you again to everyone for their support, encouragement, prayers, and kind words. Thanks to our parents for doing babysitter duty while we are in Texas. Thank you to everyone who helped us with paperwork, whether being a notary or being a reference--we can't thank you enough!!
Well, I am exhausted! I have pictures, but I brought the wrong cord--so I can't plug it into the computer. I will try to get them uploaded tomorrow somehow.
Love and miss you all--
Teri & Dan
To give some of you a re-cap, we received a call on Thursday, Oct. 9th, from the Adoption Agency we used for both Lily and Brody, Adoption Angels. They were calling because Lakeisha, Brody's birthmother, had decided that she could no longer care for her 2 year old son, Xavier, and was hoping that we would adopt him. Well, I was home w/ both Brody and Lily, who that day had strep throat--and for one nano second, I thought are you crazy?? But then, the next nano second, I thought wow, this could be so cool, but I better check it out w/ Dan. I called Dan on his cell phone, and he was in a meeting, and told him about the phone call. He didn't hesitate at all and said, Why not?? So I called the agency back and they were shocked that it didn't even take us 10 minutes to make a decision that would effect so many lives. But really, how could we say no? We had talked at maybe some point in time becoming a foster family and maybe adopting, but that would be a few years from now--but God always wants to remind us that he is in control and throws us for a loop!! :-) So that was 12 days ago--it seems like forever ago!!
We arrived in Texas last night and called the Adoption Agency this morning--they said that Lakeisha had to take Xavier for his shots and physical and then we would meet after that. Dan and I thought about it and called them back and offered to take them to the doctor. We went to Lakeisha's new apartment and picked up her and Xavier. She has only been in her apartment a few weeks and it seems like it is in a nice neighborhood. She gave us Xavier's things--only a few clothing items along w/ some Matchbox cars, some sippy cups, some food and a stuffed dinosaur. She said that when they left the other apartment, they had to leave everything there--not sure why, and we didn't ask. So needless to say, we spent the evening shopping at Target--and almost $250 later, I think he will be set for awhile. I also know that I have lots of clothes and jackets at home that will fit him, but I am getting ahead of myself.
We went to the doctor w/ them and found out that he hadn't gotten any shots for over a year and he was due 6 of them--I asked what would happen if we refused them and they said nothing, so we only got 3 of them and will wait to get the others when we get back to Green Bay. I am sure there are many wonderful doctor offices in Texas, but this one was a little strange. It was a pediatric office, but they didn't have any toys or even any books--not even the free parenting magazines. Xavier was a trooper, he was so good and we had to wait a long time b/c they didn't have all of the paperwork required, so there were many phone calls exchanged w/ the agency and Xavier's normal doctors office. His normal office didn't have any openings until Nov. 4th, so I think the Adoption Agency found this one for us. All the time sitting around today, gave us a lot of time to talk to Lakeisha and spend time with Xavier. It was very comfortable. I was kind of dreading that--not knowing how it would go and all, but it was nice. I am very glad we were able to spend a couple of hours with them together. Xavier is a very sweet kid. Very laid back--similar to Brody. Full of smiles!!
After the dr. appointment we went to the Adoption Agency where Dan & I had to go into a different room and do paperwork--yes, more and more paperwork. It seems like it is never ending. We went thru it all and it seemed that all we were missing was our cat, Jack's, rabies vacine certificate, so we called the vet and they faxed that over.
The birth father still hasn't signed off on the paperwork so this is still an at risk adoption. But Dan and I really felt we didn't want to put Xavier in the foster system waiting for his birth father's rights to be terminated. The lawyer from the adoption agency has been to see him once, if not twice, and is hoping to get him to sign voluntarily, but did serve him the papers to terminate his rights as well. If he doesn't sign the papers voluntarily, he will still lose his rights in 21 days because he is in jail for longer than 2 years. If he really wants to be a jerk about it, he could appeal the termination decision--but as Lakeisha told us, there really isn't anyone in his family to take Xavier. But I am sure this may be a last attempt of his to get back at Lakeisha or just assert some feeling of control over a situation. But we are going to try not to worry about all that.
While Dan and I were doing our paperwork, Lakeisha signed hers as well. I know it was so hard on her, and even though this is our 3rd adoption it doesn't get any easier. You just never realize about the guilt you will feel when taking another person's child--even if it is for a good reason. Lakeisha left without saying good-bye to us, but did say good-bye to Xavier. She said it was too hard to talk to us at that time and that is completely understandable. We may see her again before we leave Texas.
After we completed our paperwork, Xavier had a developmental assessment. It was interesting watching the therapist working with him. She said he does have some developmental delays. He has something called echo??? Neither Dan or I remember the name--help me out Jill!! But what he does is he repeats everything you say--kind of like he doesn't have his own thoughts. For example, I will say, Xavier do you want an apple? And he will mumble something similar to what I said, but say the word apple clearly. He doesn't seem to know animal sounds or even simple things. But when he does repeat things--he does say them very clearly and makes great eye contact, so the specialist wasn't real concerned and gave us lots of things to do to help w/ the situation. But we are thinking there wasn't a lot of working on those type of things. In many ways, Brody at one, is more advanced. I am sure being around Brody and Lily is going to help his development as well.
After the assessment was done, we took him back to the hotel--it was after 5pm. For a kid who didn't take a nap, got 3 shots, didn't have his diaper changed and didn't eat anything since before 1pm--he was doing fantastic. We did stop at McDonalds and got him a nugget happy meal with some apple dippers, which I don't think he had before b/c he gave me the strangest look as he was eating them. But we got back to the hotel and he had to look around at everything and try on both Dan's and my shoes. Then after hanging out here for a bit, we went to Target and he crashed on the way back and is asleep on our bed. We got a blow up mattress for him, so he can sleep next to us--but we have to charge up the pump so he won't have that until tomorrow.
Being Silly and Eating those apple dippers.
So everything is probably going better than I expected. He is a wonderful child. I can't wait to see all of our kids together. I know Dan and I keep commenting on how much we miss Lily and Brody. I just want to reach thru that telephone line and give them
a million kisses, but telephone calls will have to do for now. We are hoping to leave next Monday--and maybe, if everyone says lots of prayers, everything will go thru super fast and we would get the go ahead to leave on Friday--so we could come back on the weekend, but for now, we are just hoping to be able to leave on Monday.
Thank you again to everyone for their support, encouragement, prayers, and kind words. Thanks to our parents for doing babysitter duty while we are in Texas. Thank you to everyone who helped us with paperwork, whether being a notary or being a reference--we can't thank you enough!!
Well, I am exhausted! I have pictures, but I brought the wrong cord--so I can't plug it into the computer. I will try to get them uploaded tomorrow somehow.
Love and miss you all--
Teri & Dan
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